let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
