she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
