HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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