Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
