so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
