You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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