This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
