sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
