cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
