legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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