i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
