Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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