She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The air was thick with penises
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
