That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
