I saw his package. It spoke to me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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