Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
