I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Randomize
