Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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