i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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