he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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