people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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