i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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