I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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