her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
