His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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