from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
