your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
