it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
