I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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