Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
