My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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