I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
