So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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