she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
