You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
