WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
