your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Randomize
