at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
