i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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