i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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