Im at strip club and am horny
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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