if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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