Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
