sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
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I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
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Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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