Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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