I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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