i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
