Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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