he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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