Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
