do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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