You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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