Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I wish my penis had an off switch
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
