Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
