That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
