U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize