I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
