I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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